Tuesday, July 6, 2010

not set in stone

Sasha talked non-stop about some dude she'd met at the DMV. She'd gotten her permit and Ruben's phone number.

"I think we'll just text for awhile," she said. "See how it goes."

"Good." At least I didn't have to worry about being the third wheel tomorrow at the zoo. Of course, I could hear my mother laughing with Jay in the kitchen. What were they up too?

Then I listened to all snacks Sasha had planned for tomorrow. Cupcakes, deviled eggs. Finger foods. Her final answer.

"Look, I gotta go." I could sense Jess might call. He might. I dunno why it was like that, but this alarm would go off inside me that he needed me. Of course, it was hardly anything he texted. Just the thought made me giddy. So we ended our conversation. And I waited.

Nothing.

I took my cell with me to wash my face. Afterwards, I stared at my phone. Again, no phone call of any kind. So I brushed my teeth. There I was taking my phone back down the hallway.

"Night, baby." I heard Mom call from the kitchen then. She had Jay putting some things way high up in the cabinets. No, it didn't really look sexy at all. Him stretching up, like that. Well, it could have been from Mom's angle, but Mom wouldn't think that way. Would she?

I squinted. Finally said, "Night, guys."

I gave myself a heavy sigh as I crawled into bed and turned off the light. I don't know why I went to bed with my shiny purple phone. He probably wouldn't text. Jess had better things to do. Didn't he? Like a vacation. Maybe he was out having fun.

I almost squinted tears. Why was I doing this to myself? I looked at the time. It was going on after eleven. There went Jay and Mom again, laughing. How in the world could I ever get any sleep? But then the phone rang and it wasn't a text. It was Jess' voice.

"Hey." His voice was soft.

"Where are you?" I wanted to know.

"In the bathroom." He told me.

"You're calling me in the bathroom, at home?" I was thrilled to hear his voice.

"Don't worry, I'm not on the toilet or anything. Actually, I'm sitting in the bathtub." I could feel his smile already.

"You're taking a bath?" I was worried. What if his cell slipped, and it would mess up our communication, completely?

"No, I'm just laying here. No bath."  He was quiet then. "I miss your voice."

"I miss yours more." I promised. It was really quiet then. Why weren't we talking? Words needed to be spoken.

"This is so not Romeo and Juliet." I sighed.

"Yeah, thank god, I'd have to kill myself, otherwise." I noticed a tickle in his voice.

"I'm going to the zoo tomorrow." I told him as if it might mean a hook up of some kind. "Want to meet my cousin?"

"Is she cute?" He joked.

"I don't think he likes to think of himself like that." I smiled thinking of Will who had no idea I might get Angie to come. "Of course, he thinks I'm making you up, anyway."

"Does he?"

We talked more about the zoo. How he really wished he could go, but he didn't promise anything. Naturally, I said that was OK. It was just good to hear from him. I knew he wouldn't forget about me. And after he hung up, I thought of his smile. His eyes. That hair. His lean stature, kind of towering over me, perfectly. I never wanted to forget these things about Jess.

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