Saturday, September 11, 2010

getting me to the school on time

"God! NO! I'm not dressing up!" Final answer I gave Sasha before I met her in 15 minutes.

"You'll wished you did." She sounded so mysterious. Why? I wondered? Its hot and it would be a long day. Finding my locker. Finding my classes. It wasn't like I hadn't been there before, but it wasn't a fashion show for me. I just wasn't one of those girls. I wore an old western cut shirt open over my Bright Eyes T and my favorite jeans along with my favorite black high tops. Which Ren had colored in a little black heart from his sharpie on the rubber part.

Yeah, he's already made me smile today. Things were going to be fine. Wasn't like I really needed him to get me through the day, you know. I could do this. I hadn't changed. And I felt better about things than I ever felt. Jay toasted me a pop-tart. He wanted to walk me all the way to school, but I thought half way was enough. Didn't he have something better to do? Like work on somebody's spark plugs or something? Oh, yeah, it was tires he put on. I think.

Mom had been all cheesy. I had to have my picture with her before she left for work. She said she had to get one of me at the beginning of the year and at the end of the year just to see how much I changed.

So there I am on the morning of the crowd waiting to bust through the doors to a higher education, when I felt somebody's elbow press into my arm. It felt faintly familiar. I almost passed out when I looked up. There was Jess.

I blinked. He wasn't supposed to be here. He was out of my life. For good. He said he was. He said he'd never speak to me again. That we were so finished.

Suddenly all the sunshine and my smile were gone. It was like one big black rain cloud... ready to pour down on me, miserable. I sucked it in. Paid him no mind. I went forward. Darn if I didn't almost trip him.

I imagined it in my head how awful it would be. Jess on the floor, me helping him up. Me rekindling what we'd somehow lost over a stupid misunderstanding. I paused. Wait a minute....I didn't even want him back. Now did I? Really?

I nursed my bottom lip then. Held on to my backpack straps as if a rope might suddenly pull me up from the mad house and quickly take me to where I needed to be. But no. I was in the middle the throng, going nowhere very fast.

6 comments:

lucy and sarah said...

I liked so much of this. What a shock.

Sara Lynn said...

Uh oh, I hope she figures out what she is feeling for him.

meg said...

Oh, the rush of things. So unexpected, too. Her so called ex-boyfriend at her school.

Rand T said...

LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahha well lovely;):)
xx

ivy said...

So intersting. love the last part.

Cafe Fashionista said...

Encountering the ex is always confusing! :/