I want to say my bed felt so inviting and perfect. But no, I had to have dreams about running into Jess and him grabbing my arm ready to throw me into the ocean.
"You weren't true to me!" He kept insisting and I kept fighting back. Of course, a headache was coming on as I awoke. God, what was I suppose to do now?
Morning light was slipping through the curtains. I took a deep sigh. I didn't want to think about work or home. Just the silence. I listened to hear if anyone were awake. But nothing.
So nothing. It was as if I were never gone. But I had gone somewhere and was now back, a little different perhaps. I couldn't help but wonder if Ren was asleep with all those cats. What was going on with him? But then I heard Mom. Faking sleep was all I could do. Yes, she came in. Brought me breakfast in bed. Just toast and coffee, but still..there was a first for everything. I guess.
"You sure there's nothing you want to tell me?" She turned on the lamp next to my bed. I scooted up on my pillow.
"Not really." I shrugged. "Sorry I couldn't bring you any souvenirs."
"What is really going on with you and Ren?" She sat down and glared at me. Really, she was not making me hungry with these questions. I wanted to throw the toast at her, but I bit into the buttered toast with jam, instead.
"Nothing." I squinted. "Why would you think that? He's gay, Mom." It felt like an instant answer. Did she need to know anything more. "I was mad at you," I sighed. "You didn't tell me about Jay. And...and what about Jay?" It was very quiet then. "I know he's not gay." I gave her a stare.
"Fine. I'm sorry. OK." Simple as that. No explanation. "He's a good guy. You know that."
"What are you trying to tell me?" I sipped my coffee then. "He's moved in?"
"I guess so." Now who was being mysterious? She hugged herself. "His sister needs some time with her new husband."
"So is Jay gonna be your husband?" I couldn't help but ask.
"I - we have to see if this works first." She looked at me then.
"You know it will. This is Jay, we're talking about." I told her as I was calculating in my head that he was 10 years younger than her.
"Just don't be mad." She got up then.
"I'm not." I promised. I really wasn't mad.