just one of those nights

Mom is being her stubborn self. And Jay won't stand up to her. If she told him to jump out of our building. He'd do it.

He went all out for Valentines day for her. He made her dinner because it was too cold to go out. The snow is melting..but whatever. Its getting windy. A big north wind. So yeah, I had to leave them alone.

Thank God, for Wren. He took me to a movie. Actually two. Because...well...

We kind of got in a fuss. Both movies were OK for me to go too. One was a kids movie. The other ..a real guy movie. So we went to my movie first. Everyone and their mother was at that one. We went to the last matinee. Then when we got out, it was still early, so I begged him that we should go to the movie he so wanted to see.

So, I guess we made each other happy in the end. We watched Gnomes and then Centurions. See, you can have a Happy Valentines day even if it were a rather long night. I'm sure Mom was happy about that. Even if she won't admit it.

Wren and I didn't exactly argue about the movies. It was more of a discussion. And I ate way too much popcorn and pop. Ugh, I think we're both miserable about that. No, no make out sessions during the film. As Wren said, we paid good money to see that film.

Finally, we got some time in, in the car. Even so, he was scared some policeman might find us. He's so silly.

But yeah, we enjoyed Valentines day with out any hearts. Just you know, a kissable time. Now my lips are all chapped. I need to find my Carmex.

just winter thoughts

Has it been that long since I last posted? Really?

I guess it has.

Argh...

Winter has been hard. Its bitter cold. Miserable. Can I say, no outdoor sports aloud. Not even skating...not even sledding.

Plenty of time for studying, reading..you know, that kind of thing.

Of course, I've had a bad cold. So has Jay. Mom, too Wren is the only one I know..who is not sick. I dunno how he does it. I mean, I cough on him all the time. You'd think he'd be sick by now.

Anyway, nothing to report about. You know, I wasn't in that play with the ex. I'm behaving myself.

My cousin is going overseas. He's got his kindle all ready. Yeah, he bought himself one for Christmas. Sometimes, I just want to stay mad at him because...he's so selfish. The girlfriend went back to Florida.

Maybe, its..just I want to know too much. About him. I mean, he puts me under the microscope all the time. Always the third degree about Wren. Its just not fair.

I know, sometimes, its just not good to know the dark side of a person, I guess. I suppose thats what you'd call it. I just try to think happy, you know. HAPPY. Its so hard to be, sometimes. I mean, I love being with Wren. Doing things with Wren. Even if I know, something..sometimes..bothers him. But I'm not sure what. And he's not gonna talk about it.

I dunno. Winter break is coming up. And..well..I'll have a real Valentines day this year. I hope.

I wish I could give Wren a list, but even if I did..I dunno if he'd look at it. Anyway, I want to be surprised.

so you know

We don't know anymore about Anya than I thought we would.

It doesn't help when you are with someone ..who..well..how can I describe it. Like he's constipated with words. Something like that. Wren just isn't a talker.

See, we met Will and Anya at Burger King, of all places.

Today was just lazy. It felt like a Sunday for starters. We didn't have lunch til almost three. I slept really late. Wren even later because he was up playing video games. It was like that was what New Years Eve was suppose to be.

So I asked questions and before I know it..Anya is questioning Wren.

He might have lied about his age. It just slipped out. You know, "I'm just nineteen..."..more like going on twenty-one except he possibly has the brain of 14 year old. On occasion, like with those video games.

So then Anya and Will are whispering. Yeah, I think they get along great. That's all I had for Mom. Naturally, she wants to invite them out with her and Jay. I hope she finds something out before she drives me nuts, and Wren becomes a compulsive liar.

It wouldn't be the holidays without more snow

The snow is coming. First ice, then sleet..finally snow. Or so they just said on the weather forecast.

And we had like 3 hours of sun shine today. I think it hit 60 and took a nose dive. By this late afternoon..22 as usual.

Argh...

Wren took me to a movie. Yeah, we saw TRON. It was, you know, that classic universal story where boy finds his father and then they have maybe 20 minutes of real conversation..and then..well, he gets the girl in the end. Hope I didn't spoil it for you. Wren liked it better than me, but he's a guy. I dunno. Maybe I just don't play enough video games to get it. Possibly.

In other news, Will has met a girl from Florida. Yes, he brought her over for Christmas. We had to be hush hush about Angie. I'm not sure how Will met Anya, but they seem to be getting along perfectly. She'll be here for another week. Mom is pumping us to go out with them, but I dunno if I should but Wren through that. Maybe I should.

But we have to get through New Years. Yawn. I'll probably go to bed early, knowing me.

in case if you were wondering

Yes.

I know.

I'm bad. Very very bad.

Well, OK, first you know, I thought Ren and I were over, for good. He was being kind of cold and well, it was mom's fault. That's what pregnancy does to you. Makes you crazy. I feel kind of bad for Jay, but you know he's so crazy about her. What ever she wants, he's right there. I know he'll be a great Dad. She has nothing to worry about. He respects her. He takes care of her. He does love her.

Then he starts worrying about me, and you know, how I'm not my usual self.

So...

He decides to talk to Ren. First I was all..NO DON'T. Then I'm glad he did. Cause, seriously, I don't think Ren has that many friends. And even less when it comes to family. And you know with the holidays, you need friends and family. Especially, where I live when it turns cold, and there is all that snow and ice to worry about. You need to be warm. You can get so depressed. And he was.

So Jay got him to come and check up on me at work. Yes, I'm still working.  We still have customers. It was good to see him around at the end of the night. And yeah, he makes me happy. He really does.

AND...

Shhhhhhh....don't tell my mother this.

BUT...

He went down to the clinic with me and I got another physical. And tested for STDs. Not that I had one and neither did he. He just did it because well, if I was going to have go through a little pain... so did he. Of course, I think listening to the nurse was more painful than anything. You know. All those questions. After all, I live in like the number on capital for STDs. Is that crazy or what?

And now I'm on the pill. But I don't think we'll be doing anything for an awful long time. So anyway, Christmas is good. Really good. Especially with Ren.

all is not lost

I'm sorry.

Truly, I am. For not writing more. But you know, school, projects, misunderstanding with friends and even my cousin. Work. Sickness. You name it.

See....

It started with a cough. And well, while we were at the doctor's office, Mom felt faint and..here's the rest of the story.

1. yes, its true, no more doubts. sweet mom is pregnant. and you know who could not be prouder. maybe I told you all this before. I can't remember.

2. so I decided I'd ask mom if I could have birth control pills. she kind of flipped. "Well, we shouldn't both be having babies at the same time." Bad..bad choice of words. But it just came out and then...well, Wren is pretty much frightened of my Mom now. Thus, we are a bit on the rocks. OK, Wren might as well be in the shark tank. And I can't even get to him. Not a moment alone, even.

3. NO I DID NOT GET THE BIRTH CONTROL PILLS.

My life sucks. So all is kind of lost.